


i was and you were not

by SiStefan



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, I'm honestly sorry, M/M, POV First Person, but i can't get over this, idk if you can call this a fic, more like joe's though, pov one of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiStefan/pseuds/SiStefan
Summary: i had thought about losing you so often that i didn't believe at first.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	i was and you were not

i had thought about losing you so often that i didn't believe at first. i had thought about you leaving, but i had never actually realized that it was possible, thus when it happened, i assumed i was dreaming, was caught up in a fuckin' nightmare, but someone was yelling, someone was pulling me away from you and your glassy eyes were staring right into my soul and your chest wasn't moving and your hand was still warm and sticky in mine. it was worse than the most horrendous nightmare; that was how i knew it was real. 

you used to tell me we had the whole eternity waiting for us; we killed each other the day we met, then we kept doing it over and over again, and dying and dying and dying, and once you presumed that perhaps we were supposed to die just how we had found out we couldn't - together. that was your plan. mine was to not let you go first, which was the most egotistical thing one could imagine. we both failed.

i had thought about losing you and just the idea of that had hurt me more than anything ever before.

there was no air left, i thought. i tried to breathe in and I couldn't, or maybe I didn't want to, or maybe I just forgot how, because how could I even do anything without you looking at me? i would die, i thought. i would pull the trigger over and over again until my limit was over, until i stood dead, until i met you again, but there i was, sitting in your blood; and **_i was alive_** and **_you were not_**.


End file.
